Government gone wild: DOGE exposes the most absurd taxpayer rip-offs

retirement racket

Picture this: 700-plus federal drones shuffling papers 230 feet underground in a Pennsylvania limestone mine, processing retirements with quill-and-ink efficiency. DOGE blew the lid off this relic of big-government insanity, where taxpayers foot the bill for a pre-digital bureaucracy that churns through 10,000 applications a month. Musk called it what it is: a shameful waste of resources. Why are we funding a cave-dwelling jobs program when a $10 app could do it better? This is the kind of inefficiency Libertarians have been railing against for decades.

$59M for luxury stays 

For illegal immigrants

FEMA’s supposed to help Americans in crisis, not play hotelier to border-jumpers. Yet DOGE caught them dropping $59 million in one week to put illegal immigrants up in swanky NYC hotels — while citizens hit by disasters wait for scraps. Musk flagged this as a direct violation of Trump’s executive orders, and he’s right: it’s a slap in the face to every taxpayer who believes in borders and accountability. Why are we coddling lawbreakers with luxury digs when FEMA can’t even keep its own house in order?

$20M for an Iraqi 

‘Sesame Street’ boondoggle

Leave it to the nanny state to think puppet shows can fix the world. Sen. Joni Ernst of Iowa and a DOGE cheerleader spotlighted USAID’s $20 million splurge on an Iraqi Sesame Street. Seriously? This isn’t about education — it’s about bureaucrats wasting your money on feel-good nonsense halfway across the globe. Libertarians say it loud and clear: our tax dollars shouldn’t be funding Big Bird’s international vacation. DOGE’s right to axe this kind of reckless spending.

Pentagon’s $13K coffee cups 

and 8,000 percent soap scams

The Department of Defense’s $850 billion budget is a black hole of waste, and DOGE proved it. The Air Force shelled out $1,300 per coffee cup — $32,000 for 25 of them — while Boeing jacked up soap dispenser prices by 8,000 percent. This isn’t just inefficiency; it’s cronyism run amok. The military-industrial complex has been fleecing taxpayers for years, and DOGE’s audit hammer is finally smashing through the grift. Conservatives and libertarians alike cheer: cut the fat, not the muscle.

$397,000 for San Fran’s 

woke farmer fantasy

The USDA thought it was a great idea to blow $397,000 “educating queer, trans, and BIPOC urban farmers” about “food justice” in the Bay Area. DOGE shut it down faster than you can say “socialist fever dream.” This is peak government overreach: taking your money to fund niche identity projects that have zero to do with feeding America. Libertarians don’t care who’s farming—just grow the damn food and keep the feds out of it. Musk’s team nailed this one.

$8M Politico panic

DOGE claimed it saved $8 million by canceling federal subscriptions to Politico and AP, painting it as a blow against the “deep state media.” Turns out these were just tools for policy wonks, not some grand conspiracy. The savings were overhyped, but the symbolism? Priceless. Conservatives love sticking it to the elitist press, and libertarians cheer any cut to government bloat—even if it’s a bit of a stretch. DOGE’s flair for drama here is pure red meat for the base.

Freedom over fiasco

DOGE’s crusade against waste is a libertarian-conservative dream come true. From caves to coffee cups, these examples scream for a smaller, smarter government that respects your wallet. Sure, critics whine that Musk’s slash-and-burn risks cutting too deep, but the real scandal is how long this profligacy went unchecked. The feds have no business playing global philanthropist or woke sugar daddy — not with our money.

As of Tuesday, DOGE’s just warming up. Every dollar saved is a dollar back in your pocket — or at least not burned on some bureaucrat’s pet project. What’s the next outrageous waste you want DOGE to torch? 

•

Dana Criswell is a former Mississippi state senator from Pascagoula.