MT. PLEASANT — On the fourth Tuesday of each month, parents and caregivers walk through the doors of the Henry County Extension Office and find something that’s often hard to come by — real connection. They come for conversation, dinner, and a chance to be seen and heard by others who understand the joys and challenges of raising children.

Parent Café launched in Mt. Pleasant in January under the direction of The Family Connection of Henry and Washington Counties. It offers a free, structured opportunity for those raising children to reflect, share, and grow together. In just a few months, attendance has grown so quickly that organizers have had to cap RSVPs to ensure they can accommodate all families.

“[Parent Café is] for parents and caregivers to connect, share experiences, and learn from one another,” said Emmy Rodriguez, Family Support Specialist and facilitator of the Café. “Its purpose is to foster community through peer-to-peer learning and support.”

Rodriguez received training to lead the group last fall after her supervisor suggested she attend a Parent Café Facilitator workshop in Dubuque.

“I made the necessary arrangements so I could attend and traveled to Dubuque for a two-day workshop,” she said. “I found the experience to be valuable and had several insights, leading me to believe that other parents in Henry County would appreciate and benefit from it.”

Parent Café follows a national model developed by Be Strong Families, an organization that promotes family wellness and community connection through conversation-based programming.

The Café model builds five protective factors that research shows help families thrive: parental resilience, social connections, knowledge of parenting and child development, concrete support in times of need, and social and emotional competence in children.

“The protective factors are important elements for building a strong family,” Rodriguez said. “There are five in total, but we usually focus on just three depending on the topic.”

According to Family Support Supervisor Amy McLaughlin one goal of teaching these protective factors is to help prevent child abuse. With this goal in mind, The Parent Café is currently funded through a grant from Prevent Child Abuse Iowa to support the Cafés, including dinner, child care, and supplies.

“Informally, [our goal is] to help parents feel connected to someone else who has been through what you might be going through as a parent.”

Each monthly Café begins with a shared meal at 5:30 p.m., followed by a short introductory exercise designed to help participants feel comfortable with one another. From there, the group breaks into small tables for deeper discussion around selected topics.

“The discussions we had really helped lift some of the burdens I was carrying,” Rodriguez said. “The questions we explored were deeper and different from what you usually talk about with friends and family.”

Participants are invited — but not required — to speak. Trained table hosts guide each group and ensure that everyone follows the “Parent Café Agreements,” a set of principles designed to create emotional safety. These include speaking from personal experience, active listening, avoiding judgment or advice-giving, and maintaining confidentiality.

McLaughlin said The Family Connection closely follows the Be Strong Families model.

“We use it as it is written,” she said. “Parent Cafés include small group conversations about parenting. Each conversation comes from a card deck of questions. Each question is designed to discuss one of the protective factors.”

Child care is available on-site, allowing parents to fully participate in the conversation. Volunteers — who are at least 16 years old and have passed background checks — engage children with age-appropriate activities in a separate room.

“At the previous Café, the bigger kids played with a tunnel, built an obstacle course, and had a craft,” McLaughlin said. “The younger kids … had educational activities available in the Family Connection playroom, including farm toys, dress-up items, blocks, and a play kitchen.”

“Since the Parent Café experience is 2 to 2½ hours long, it’s important to make sure we can meet the needs of families,” McLaughlin said. “Being able to take away planning, cooking, and cleaning up after dinner is a huge benefit … It’s the same with child care.”

Kendra DeWolf, a mother from Brighton, experienced that support at all three sessions held so far this year. She is glad she didn’t hesitate to join when she first heard of Parent Café.

“I really want to connect with other parents because I know I don't know it all, and no parent knows everything, but we all can learn together,” she said.

After DeWolf’s first time attending in January, she wished the Café was longer and that she could go even more in-depth. She says she appreciated the balance of structure and openness in the discussion format.

“We go into a group discussion at a small table,” she said. “We all have a different perspective of what we're going to get out of the group. We end in large discussions of just what we learned or what we already knew but might have learned a new twist on it.”

One conversation in particular stood out to DeWolf.

“One of our discussion questions was going over, what's the difference between discipline and punishment?” she said. “I've always thought of it as discipline is discipleship and punishment is when you're angry … I was able to bring that to the table for others that said they never thought about it that way.”

That kind of exchange — deep, respectful, and eye-opening — is exactly what the program aims to encourage.

“These groups are a chance to talk about those [hard] times, as well as the great times, and to find support and validation among peers,” McLaughlin said.

DeWolf said she’s already felt the positive impact of participating. She connected with someone from her church she hadn’t realized she knew.

“Now I've been able to say hi to her every time I go to church,” she said.

She brings her nearly two-year-old son, William, along to the events and says he really enjoys spending time with the other children.

Her husband, Jordan, joined her for the first time at a recent Café.

“We try to keep the mom or the dad at two different discussion tables,” DeWolf said. “That way they’re both learning, and then they can also talk about it afterward.”

The group welcomes all caregivers, regardless of the age of their children or their parenting status. “Anyone who is parenting,” McLaughlin said. “It doesn’t matter if your child is 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years, or 16 years. There are commonalities in every parenting experience.”

Rodriguez added, “The most important thing a new participant can look forward to is meeting others.”

As word has spread, McLaughlin and Rodriguez have seen interest in the Parent Café grow.

“Every family needs support,” McLaughlin said. “Parent Cafés are a unique opportunity due to a meal and child care being provided as well as parents leading a discussion about what is meaningful to them.”

Rodriguez credited Arin Jones, the Quad-County CPPC Coordinator, with helping get the program off the ground.

“Arin really gave me a boost of confidence I needed to carry out these events successfully,” she said.

The Family Connection hopes to expand the Café to Washington County but faces uncertainty about long-term funding as the current grant from Prevent Child Abuse Iowa ends in June 2025.

“I would love to see Parent Cafés grow,” McLaughlin said. “It will take community support to continue after June.”

For now, families in Henry County are building something special, one conversation at a time.

“I believe it is going to make an impact on our community,” DeWolf said. “Just take that step forward and go explore it, even if it’s just one time.”

Parents and caregivers can RSVP for upcoming events by calling the Henry County Extension office at 319-385-8126, messaging The Family Connection on Facebook, or emailing famconnection.2021@gmail.com.

Comments: AnnaMarie.Kruse@southeastiowaunion.com